A lot of the time when I go shopping I get nothing accomplished. I will go into a store and wind up walking out an hour or two later empty-handed, and it might not be because I didn’t find anything but idk I think I just get overwhelmed in a sense. Like for example, a couple weeks ago maybe last month I went into Zara and usually when I go in the line for the register and the fitting room be too long for my liking, but it was really calm this day. So I’m in there or whatever, shopping around (I usually start off in TRF because I feel like the clothes from there fit me better) I’m picking stuff up, throwing it over my arm having a good ol’ time and listening to my music, everything was all good. Then I walk my way over to the other section and skimmed it, didn’t really find much. And then I made my way upstairs to see what was there before I went to the fitting room. So I got everything I went there for and a little extra and I go to the fitting room, try everything on, make my decisions and I start making my way to the register or whatever. I’m going down the escalator to the register and then next thing I know I’m putting all the clothes right back from where I got them and walking out the store with nothing.

I honestly do not know why I put everything back because it didn’t exceed a budget amount I had mentally set, I loved all the pieces and felt like they were worth purchasing, and it wasn’t crazy busy in the store like pretty much everything was in my favor and I was just like eh, never mind I’ll buy it online all of a sudden. Like it legit makes no sense to me. Or, I’ll go in a store with a specific goal like to buy jeans or sneakers and wind up buying a whole bunch of tops or something I already have enough of.

So it’s either I’m spending too much money or none at all and it alternates pretty much any time I go shopping, so what I’ve decided to do (which is something I’ve tried in the past) is to go in with a list of items that I intend on getting in-store and/or online which I know for sure would prevent me from spending too much money but it may also help to prevent me from getting overwhelmed and keep my focused.

I’m trying this out within the next couple of weeks and really hope I can stick to it because although I don’t see this as much of an issue it’s extremely annoying, I’m in the process of exploring my style and I just feel like it’s preventing me from being great, in a sense.

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Ok so I just had to sweat Beyonce right quick lmao now I’m not a part of beyhive per se but I love her and these couple of shots from her pregnancy shoot or shoots had me SHOOK lmao yes bey!

But on some real, after the whole social media frenzy over bey and her twins I got to thinking that we really are too wrapped up in social media and celebrity lives. Like for one, I remember a time where we pretty much knew nothing personal about a celebrity and it didn’t become news to be put in a newspaper until recently and I’m just like, we have too much access and it’s causing so many issues I feel like some aren’t recognizing. Like obvs. for some celebrities and individuals there are positive outcomes such as inspiration, aspiration, and motivation to legitimately better yourself that can be withdrawn. But for a lot of people they let the lives they seeing “celebrities” living get to them. For example: females out here aspiring to have bodies that they see these women with on social media, altering themselves to be someone else or to fit a standard of beauty/sexiness for the wrong reasons. Or even the guys trying to keep up with these celebrity’s “lifestyles” and what they’re portraying through music and social media. Thinking that selling drugs, being in gangs, possessing guns, committing crimes, and degrading women is a rite of passage into manhood. But that’s just a couple scenarios, it’s so many different things people do to try and get up with celebrities trying to live beyond their means, ecetra ecetra….

This is how my mind gets going on things a lot of the time, one subject triggers another and then I get into this mental tangent that won’t stop until I come to some type of conclusion or resolve, and with this I honestly feel like social media is a gift and a curse. Aside from the possibility of earning an income or creating an opportunity for yourself through it, it makes networking easier and it also opens us up to diversity resulting in mental flexibility or open-mindedness. But I also feel like it heightens insecurities, ignorance, and causes people to lose touch from reality. I don’t believe there is definitive solution for this situation but I do believe taking a break from social media is something that we all should think about doing more often.

Delete the apps, sign out of your accounts, or deactivate them for a little while – whichever would work best for you and spend more time physically being in the world or getting things done you’ve been putting off. I’ve taken a break from social media before and I’m not going to say it was the easiest thing to do but it honestly was the best decision because prior to that I took social media a little too serious for someone that wasn’t generating money or opportunities through it, I wasn’t envious of or trying to be others but I did feel like it made me a little ignorant and naive.

In summary though, social media is good for entertainment and to interact with others, but allowing yourself to get too caught up in it could lead you astray – be yourself, not who they want you to be.

This blog is exactly what the url states: diaries of a black girl. The title comes from Diary by Wale, a song off one of his earlier works entitled Attention Deficit. I love the song because I felt a connection to the message (I’ve been that girl before). When I was thinking of a blog title it was the first thing that came to mind because 1. I’m a black girl and 2. This is pretty much like a diary; it’s an expression of my thoughts and feelings on whatever intrigues me because like, I love stating my own opinion on things (as if anybody cares to know) so why not dedicate a whole blog to it. Nah but seriously, I just wanted an outlet to express myself freely without feeling like I’m doing too much. So yeah that’s pretty much it, if you come across my blog and you enjoy my posts then that’s great, if you don’t: I don’t care. 🙃 lol jk

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