Relationships: Social Media Etiquette

People swear up and down social media ruins relationships when that’s not necessarily the case, it’s more so your presence on and perception of social media is what ruins relationships. When I say presence I’m referring to what you’re doing on social media and how you’re carrying yourself as a person in a committed relationship. As for perception, it’s really just about how serious you take social media. Because our phones have become the center of our world, social media has become a big part of it for some people as well, and it’s cool for entertainment and networking, but it becomes a problem when people begin to look at it as a real world to revolve their lives around. There are countless problems that can arise because of social media, whether you’re just dating or in a committed relationship, but I’m about to share some things with you that I think should be kept in mind on both sides.

They Don’t Have to Post You

If your significant other doesn’t want to post you or any couple pictures on their Instagram,  it’s something you should discuss to understand why but it should not be something you need from them to validate y’all relationship. A lot of the time people decide not to post their significant other or any cuffing pictures because they prefer to keep that part of their life to themselves, which is completely fine especially when majority of people on social media do not give a fuck to respect your relationship in the first place. When you start posting your significant other or couples pictures constantly people tend to get jealous, envious, all those other bitter emotions, and they try to cause problems within your relationship from the outside (I briefly touched on this in my last post, check it out here). Because of that, not wanting to share that part of your life is completely understandable and if that’s what your significant other wants you need to respect that, but it doesn’t mean you have to do the same on your social media. Wanting to show off your significant other because they are a part of your life and they’re making you happy or just because it’s a fire ass picture is fine and I’m not knocking that, what I’m really trying to say is: if they post you thats cool and if they don’t that’s fine too because at the end of the day, neither one validates or devalues the relationship in any kind of way.

Your Relationship Shouldn’t Be A Secret

Tying in with the previous point I made, it’s one thing to be private about your relationship but it’s another to keep it a secret. The difference between the two lies in your response when people ask and how you respond to people in your comments and dms. I really believe that it goes without saying, but you shouldn’t be denying your significant other or that you’re in a relationship and you shouldn’t be flirting with people in comments and dms (for all that you might as well be single). It’s pretty hard to know if your significant other is trying to keep you a secret unless you going into their social media to check which is something I do not suggest. At the end of the day, more important than social media etiquette is trust within the relationship. Plus, the truth only stays hidden for so long.

Certain Emojis Are Not Acceptable

Once again, tying into the previous point relating to comments and dms between other people on social media is the emojis you use to communicate. Emojis have become a part of communication now that our phones are the major source and because of that emojis have taken on a new life. This might seem childish (it really isn’t though) and some people like to believe emojis mean nothing but we all know that’s a lie and the use of certain emojis have a hidden meaning because if it didn’t guys would be commenting the same emojis they put under girls pictures on they bro’s pictures too, but they don’t. It’s hard to explain why some emojis aren’t appropriate but some such as the eggplant emoji are obviously inappropriate because it represents the male genital and not an innocent vegetable.

😍    😻    😏    😼    😘    😙    😽    😗    😚    👀    👁    👄    👅    💋    💧    💦    🙈    🍆

All these emojis in their own way are very flirtatious, but the context of the comment/dm accompanied with the emoji (or lack of) is very important as well. A lot of times, girls use some of these emojis between friends and it can become a little tricky trying to decipher the context then. A lot of times it’s innocent but that’s not always a guarantee. While in a committed relationship: if you’re commenting any of these emojis under a thirst trap picture then it’s flirtatious. If you’re commenting any of these emojis under an exes pictures then its flirtatious. If you’re DM’ing anybody with these emojis it’s flirtatious. If you commenting any of these emojis under one of those “can’t sleep” or “who’s up” posts then it’s flirtatious. If you commenting any of these emojis under a post somebody made that’s a sub to they significant other they having problems with then it’s flirtatious. If you comment any of these emojis in response to someone’s comment under your picture then it’s flirtatious (with the exception of the eye emojis).

Don’t Be Petty

If you’re in a real committed relationship being petty on social media isn’t going to improve anything in your relationship. I emphasize real because all the childish and petty shit might work on someone who doesn’t understand their value and worth but once you’re with someone that doesn’t need your acceptance and has no time for the bullshit, it’s like a waste of time. But,  in general petty behavior should be given up because once you reach a certain age it’s no need for you to be passive, it’s either you speak how you feel or just dub the person or situation altogether and move on with your life. So, throwing subliminal when you and your partner aren’t on good terms isn’t going to help in any kind of way and most likely would just prolong the issue. Also, don’t go entertaining other people when y’all still together but not on good terms or you know y’all going to get back together. What goes on in your relationship should be kept private especially when at the end of it all you aren’t leaving them and you going to be back posting them like nothing happened. This is pretty much to ensure that you don’t look stupid and you don’t make your significant other look stupid. Don’t give people outside of your relationship the opportunity to laugh at either of you, stay out of your feelings on social media, this is the benefit of keeping your relationship conflicts private.

Mind Your Business

This is the one tip I have when it comes to dating and social media. A lot of the times people can get caught up in their feelings or get confused on what it means to be dating someone. When you’re dating honesty is something you should require in terms of if you’re the only person they’re dating and how many people they’re having sex with but other than that, none of what they’re doing on their social media is your business. I don’t believe any of the previous points are grounds for you to get upset if you’re only dating this person. At this phase they don’t owe you much so if they in somebody comments with some flirtatious emojis you might get mad but there’s nothing you can really say to them. If they posting pictures with other females but not with you, you might feel a way but there’s not really anything you can say to them. They don’t have to let anybody know they’re dating to you. Moral of this point is: whatever they’re doing on social media is not your business unless they decide to get into a serious relationship with you, then that’s when you can complain and have an opinion about what they’re doing on social media. Otherwise, you pretty much just need to mind your business and worry about you. Enjoy the friendship and bond you guys are creating and enjoy spending time with them, don’t get too much into what exists outside of y’all dating situation because that’s what can ruin the possibility of progression.

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theblackgirldiaries

I'm just a regular degular shmegular girl from Brooklyn that decided to start a blog.

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